And the winner is...
I just got back from a semi-lightning ride to Sydney. Apologies to all friends, relatives and nodding acquaintances in the Greater Sydney area, but it was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't have time to see anybody anyway; all I had time for was picking up twenty kilos of heroin from the airport. Don't worry about that though, it was cleverly concealed inside the cavities of a few chinese child sex slaves/ illegal immigrants, and the lefty softcock customs guys never think to look there.
I rode down on Saturday. It's about eight hundred and fifty kilometres from here toEternity Sydney and it rained for about eight hundred of them. I froze my nuts off. Lucky I don't use 'em much any more. I did what I had to do and started back on Sunday morning (-ish. It was about noon.) I got as far as Glenbrook afore it started to rainin' agin. Remember my nuts? Same thing. I managed to do a good deed on my way through the Blue Mountains. Some girl in a little generic hatchback (Seat?) was driving along with her back door not shut properly and I went out of my way to remedy the situation before catasphrophe befell her. Actually all I did was pull up next to her at a set of lights and tell her about it, but I'm thinking of taking up politics and I need some good news.
My amazing powers of perception let me down shortly thereafter when I missed the Mudgee turn-off. I realised it nearly as soon as it happened but I figured there's only about thirty kilometres difference so I came home via Bathurst/ Orange etc.
I'm not entirely certain that this was a good decision as my nuts re-attached themselves just so that they could fall off again, even harder. I wimped out at Orange and pulled up. This, too, may not have been wise as it was 5.5 degrees below zero when I left Orange this morning. Nuts, etc.
Still, I survived.
You may find this difficult to believe, but this filthy piece of shit I saw in the carpark of the motel in Orange is the very same bike that was shined to within an inch of its life last week. Apart from the ride out to the highway, about two killer meters, it hasn't been off the bitumen.
I rode down on Saturday. It's about eight hundred and fifty kilometres from here to
My amazing powers of perception let me down shortly thereafter when I missed the Mudgee turn-off. I realised it nearly as soon as it happened but I figured there's only about thirty kilometres difference so I came home via Bathurst/ Orange etc.
I'm not entirely certain that this was a good decision as my nuts re-attached themselves just so that they could fall off again, even harder. I wimped out at Orange and pulled up. This, too, may not have been wise as it was 5.5 degrees below zero when I left Orange this morning. Nuts, etc.
Still, I survived.
You may find this difficult to believe, but this filthy piece of shit I saw in the carpark of the motel in Orange is the very same bike that was shined to within an inch of its life last week. Apart from the ride out to the highway, about two killer meters, it hasn't been off the bitumen.
posted by Dirk at 2:08 pm
8 Comments:
groovy :-) nice toy, that's not the standard 'zorst is it?
Mebbe you needs to get you some heated kecks.
Rat,
it certainly is standard, looks pretty when you can tell that it's chrome.
og,
I assume NASA or somebody could help me out with space pants or something, but the problem could probably be avoided by not riding through sub-zero temps.
We used to wear cold suits at the mills. Had tubing woven into the fabric of the underwear. Backpack with a radiator, fan, circulating pump. Kept some of the edge off in 160 degree heat, if you had to be in it all day.
Nice looking bike, btw. I'm starting my MSF classes tonight, hope I don't kill myself on the bike at 5 mph.
Nuts? What are these nuts that you keep referring to? Is this some kind of antipodean slang talk? How big are the nuts and why don't you just feed them to some squirrels? Do you have squirels in Oz or just those big jumping things with pouches? And who is this Sydney fellow you mention? Is he a workmate? All very confusing...
og,
what's MSF stand for? Obviously it's motorcycle something something.
Pud,
the nuts are huge and if any squireel tries to eat them it will become a cute little fluffy bump on the road. Those big jumping things you refer to are known as furry grasshoppers. Sydney is a homosexual financier, his real name is Gay Capital O'Thesouth.
Squirrels, on the other hand, may stand a chance.
Motorcycle Safety Foundation. Classes in how to ride and not become a greasy spot on the highway. Kind of thing you have to do when you have the coordination of a bucket of shite and the common sense of Steve Irwin. last night was day three, and I haven't dropped the bike on myself yet. Did just about run over a skinny broad who dropped her bike in front of me.
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