What's in a name?

You may have noticed in my previous post the occurrence of the street name 'Ruthven'. Persons of Toowoomban descent pronounce this phonetically - r, 'u' as in cup, 'th' as in throw, 'ven' as in "Ven vill you learn Hogan?". I'm led to believe by an unimpeachable stranger in a pub somewhere that 'Ruthven' is in fact a Scottish word and should be pronounced 'riven'. Which goes to show two things:

1. That Scottish people are still resisting the English invasion, and
2. Most people are a bit touchy about place names.

Four eggs ample; in North Rockhampton there is a thoroughfare which has been bestowed with the rather nifty name of Berserker Street. When I first saw it I wanted to shift there. How cool would it be to live in Berserker Street? How much fear would the name of the local football team instill into opposition hearts? But 'cept for the fact that the dolts in Berserker Street don't pronounce it in the way that nature intended, oh, no, no, no, no, no, they've decided to play God and changed the pronunciation to 'burrssicka' street. Fools. Our God is a vengeful God and will doom them to a life of Rockhampton if they don't repent.
Not all street names are mispronounced. Just down the road from Rocky is the lovely harbour city of Gladstone. At least it would be lovely if the original founders of Gladstone had looked around at the prettiest little harbour on the Queensland coast and not built meatworks, coal handling facilities, power stations, bauxite refineries and aluminium* smelters right on the shoreline. Dickheads, at least they could have put them up past The Narrows. Anyhoo, the main drag of Gladstone is Goondoon Street. A cross street of Goondoon Street is Yarroon Street.
Incidentally, Yarroon Street houses two of the three roughest pubs in Gladdie (one of which I used to work in), the police station and the courthouse.
According to me, both Goondoon and Yarroon are words from 'the patter'; the local dialect of Glasgow. Allow me to demonstrate their usage in a brief dialogue:
1st Glaswegian - Here you Jimmy, what the divil d'ye think ye doin', puttin ye feelers doon ma keks?
2nd Glaswegian - Dinnae borrer yesel' Jock, ah'm on'y Goondoon on ye, but ah've got tae hoist yoor boabie first. It's what I learnt in Barlinnie.
1st Glaswegian. Well ye can have that on Yarroon Jimmy, ah'm nae bufty. When ah wish a sooky, ah'll nip a hingoot. Put ma boy back in ma troos or ah'm gaunnae put ma napper intae ye heid, ye jobby jabber.
Speaking of Goondoon, I wish I was gay. Not only would I be thinner, better looking, wittier and wealthier, but I could change my name to RSI, become a criminal and move to Sydney. Bobbin Head, to be precise. Can you imagine the hilarity that would ensue when I was arrested by an inexperienced constable of uncertain sexuality after he took me to the station and the desk sergeant said "'allo, 'allo, allo, what have we here?"
The constable would then reply proudly "I've got RSI from Bobbin Head." And everybody would chortle.
Then there are names which are just unfortunate. East of Melbourne there is a place which used to be a town, but which is becoming a suburb of Melbourne. It is called Pakenham. A little further east on a rise is a smaller place which is an off shoot of Pakenham. Guess what it is called, you have a choice of:

• a) East Pakenham
• b) Pakenham Heights
• c) Little Pakenham
• d) Something completely unrelated to the word 'Pakenham'
• e) none of the above

Of course, the correct answer is e) none of the above; because all of the above answers were sensible, slightly boring and not prone to schoolboy snirking.
As opposed to the actual place name which is...,
Pakenham Upper.
I have nothing more to say.
* Can't wait for the seppo spell checker to try and remove the extraneous 'i'.