Did you know that Sir Walter Scott called his famous novel of chivalry "Ivanhoe" because he didn't want to give the story away in the title?

It has come to my attention that some of you suburban chardonnay slurpers have been using the terms 'bogan' and 'redneck' as if they were interchangeable. THEY AREN'T. Bogans and rednecks are different, although at times similar, creatures. To say they are synonymous is an insult to rednecks and a gratuitous (and false) piece of flattery to bogans.

Look at it another way. You wouldn't like it if I called your Chardonnay... ummm... unwooded chardonnay, would you? It's just not right, is it?

Unless it is.

Unwooded, I mean.

Then it would be right.

But, anyway, bogans (ptooey) and rednecks are not the same thing.

When you think 'bogan', what do you think? In true John Laws style, I'll save you the bother and tell you what you think... you think full mullet, acid-wash jeans and a red 1981 VH Commodore with one blue mudguard and a 'No Fear' sticker on the rear window. Whereas your redneck has a 1984 WB ute with a 253 V8 (which he says is a 308), Moleys and a no. 3 or 4.

I think where a lot of the confusion comes in is the fact that the bogan (urbanus yobbioso) has overrun the habitat of the redneck (ruralis renegadus) in a lot of the more closely settled areas. In fact, the Eastern coastal strip from Geelong in the south as far as Yeppoon in the North has been completely infested by Bogans for nearly twenty years now. Even further north, there are rapidly growing enclaves of the insidious bogan in Townsville and Cairns, fouling the otherweuise pristine grazeland of the majestic redneck. Even worse than that, little effort is required to track down the prolific, but stupid, investor (comus innus, spinnerari)

Once the investor gets a foothold, bogans will proliferate.otherwisegraze-landlittleeffort

I looked back over that last bit about several times and I'm fucked if I knbow what it means. Beer wins again.

G'night.