GRRRRRRR!!!

There is a threat facing civilization today, greater than any we have faced before. Greater even than Popstars Live. I"m talking about the rise in popularity of the acoustic guitar, coupled with the inability to play the thing. Every time some bunch of hair-product wearing, pimply-faced fuck-sticks want to increase their chances with da ladeez, out comes the acoustic accompaniment to some slow paced dirge about teen love.

That would be bad enough if they could actually play their instruments; but when they have been raised on them fandangled e - lectrical gee-tars with their lower action (meaning the strings are closer to the fretboard) and lighter guage strings, coupled with an innate lack of application, you have all the makings of a disaster. None of these pricks is capable of making a chord change without dragging the fingers of their left hand all over the strings, making that annoying (really, really annoying) squeaking sound, like they've got a chorus of mouse backup singers.

These knob-gobblers are getting about forty years wages* per song; admittedly most of the money comes from spoiled pre-pubescent girls, but they get their money from real people, so you would think that they could at least take the time to learn how to do the job properly. But noooo, they just commit outrage after outrage, little girls lap it up and everybody else lets it slide. No more; we must rise up, brothers and sisters!

We must destroy this threat now!

Destroy it before it destroys music as we know it!

Kill the bad guitarists!

Kill their agents!

And anybody else you don't particularly like!

Or not, I don't mind.

* Real persons' wages.