Yo! Yo! Yo!...mah neegah!...'ssup. G?

• The title is a direct quote from a conversation I overheard (from the other side of the street)  in a western NSW town not a million miles from this very spot, between two young persons of aboriginal heritage; and goes quite a long way towards demonstrating why Hip-Hop/rap music is evil and must be eradicated!

Music is a misnomer when applied to the rhythmic noise that accompanies the chanting/ dirge that is hip-hop. Music implies musicians.
Musicians play instruments. They don't programme computers (to make music), nor do they press play. An instrument probably can be described better than I am capable of doing by people better educated than myself, but for my purposes an instrument is any object which produces a sound of a particular type when a specific action is performed on it. Note: I said "a sound", not "a string of sounds"  such as is produced from samplers, etc.
A turntable-ist is a musician, someone playing samples is not. This is not to say that some of the noises aren't enjoyable, it's just that they're not music. This phenomena isn't restricted to hip-hop, by any means - been to a nightclub this millenium? Apart from Basement Jaxx (sp.) and a couple of what I suppose are novelty recordings I would be hard pressed to name any dance music that I enjoy, either. There's plenty of finely crafted noises out there, but 159bps isn't really my speed.
None of which goes to explain why hip-hop is evil and must be eradicated. No, that's because the rhyming sucks. Really badly. They try so hard to rhyme, at the expense of any coherence in the lyric that the best(?) of it sounds contrived, the rest is just painful. A short message to the "beats and Rhymes" crowd:
 
If you have to tell me how good you are, then you aren't; quality is self-evident, fuckwits!

• I don't care how tough your childhood was,
• I don't care if "your niggahs" are all fucked up,
• I don't care if you did/do stickups (unless you stick me up, in which case be afraid, be very afraid; because, if I survive, I'll write some very scathing comments about you on this page. And you don't want that to happen now, do you?)
• I don't care if your muthah is a crack-whore.
• I don't care if everybody wants to be like/fuck you,
• I especially don't care about all this if you're an Australian kid(s) trying to make a career out of victimhood.
• As a matter of fact I am not even slightly interested in any aspect of your dirty, peurile, inadequate little existence at all, so

Shut the fuck up and find something else to talk about.

Please. If not for me, then for your own self-respect. You don't really want your grandchildren to drag out your old cd's when you are in your dotage and show them to their friends so that they can laugh and point at you do you... ? "Who's a badass muthafuckah now Granpa, eh? Eh? Who's a badass now, you ol' fuckahh? What's that?...Please stop?...Get yo' momma to make me stop Granpa!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

That said, I must confess that I have heard some hip-hop that I enjoyed, Hilltop Hoods may receive some of the fruits of my labours shortly, Butterfingers ditto, despite the gimmick single.

By and large though, hip-hop sucks. Particularly when performed by white people, not just Vanlla Ice, I was working in a fair-sized crew when that Eminem fuckwit arrived on the scene. It was towards the end of the shelf-life of the second single before we realised he wasn't a comedy act - one bloke thought he was Woody Allen. I mean, have you ever heard such a whiny little poor bugger me voice on an alleged 'badass' before?

Fuck 'em all.