Negativity

As anybody who has wasted a few minutes reading this page in the past would know, I am without a doubt the world's most positive individual*. However, even someone as relentlessly affirmative such as myself feels the need to get in touch with reality now and again, so I'm going to vent on a few subjects. Bear with me if I've already covered these topics; take it as proof that not much distresses me.

Firstly, it has come to my attention that some people actually like Hip Hop, as opposed to just looking at the girls in the videos. Some of these fans are otherwise quite normal and some could even be considered to be intelligent. The more extreme devotees call Hip Hop "Music." I don't see the relationship myself. I've been told that there are some Hip Hop makers who don't write poetry which would get a 'please repeat' in Primary School and that there may, in fact, be others who are not misogynist wankers. Some of them have been known to go three full minutes without self-aggrandisement. They don't last long usually. The majority of the latter group are Australians and they are usually too busy telling me what a racist/ fascist/ non-uni student wanker I am to tell me how good they are - that's just assumed.

Speaking of talking about yourself, how sick am I of country singers telling me what a country boy/ girl they are? I don't care. Just do some more songs about your dog running off with your wife. And play the fiddle. There isn't enough fiddle these days. And Garth Brooks, if you're reading this, fuck off and die. Go and blow your tour bus up at a Big and Rich Concert or something. And take Lee Kernaghan (a.k.a. Garth Brooks-lite) with you.

Also, sheep. Sheep are a pain in the arse. Don't buy wool. Don't eat lamb/ hoggett/ mutton. Sheep are like having a stupid, retarded needy girlfriend who doesn't put out. Cattle can be left quite happily for months and won't complain. Sheep need shearing, crutching, lamb marking, dipping, drenching etc, etc. In wet areas, they even need pedicures. They won't look for water, you have to take them to it. Ditto feed. You have to read them a story and tuck them in or they won't sleep at night. Bastards. Eat more beef, you mob.

I feel better now.

* Unless of course you are talking about things like HIV or Herpes Simplex B, in which case I am not positive at all. Even a little bit. I hope.