Maranoaspeak

"Owyergoin' mate, orright?

'Aven't seen yer all week, where ya bin? Nevermind, ya can tell me later, it's your shout... Gold thanks, love.

Remember last week I said we might be gunna get a bit 'o rain? Whaddya mean, no...? We was sittin' right here. I was on this side an' you was on that side an' ol' Toby was yarnin' to Ol' Mate from out west who always smells like he don't wipe 'is bum properly. "Member? An' Jacko was in the corner tryin' to crack on to that Chinese sheila with all the zits an' the harelip. You know the one... got a head on 'er like forty mile 'o bad road... yeah, that's her. 'E musta put the hard word on 'er or gone the grope or somethin' 'coz she hauled off an' clocked 'im one. Then she starts jibber jawin' at 'im in Christ knows what language, wavin' 'er arms around an' carryin' on, 'course, 'coz she's got that harelip she's sprayin' froth an' spit all over 'im like she was a horse that's bin worked too 'ard. Geez it was funny, we was cackin' ourselves. 'Course then she notices us laughin', see, so she turns on us an' starts jibberin' away at us, too, which made us laugh even more. She saw the funny side after a while an' just give us all a little smile an' went back to talkin' to Jacko.

What? 'Ow would I know if it goes sideways, ask Jacko, 'e ended up crackin' on to 'er eventually.Anyhow, it was just after that I sez to you, I sez "Reckon we might be gunna get a little bit 'o rain" I sez, an' you sez to me, you sez "Ooh...reckon?" you sez, an' I sez to you, I sez "Yeah...reckon." I sez an' then we talked about the footy, 'member?

'Course you do... anyhow, we did get a bit 'o rain... 85 points in ten minutes, geez it pissed down. I was just doin' the last change on the irrigation on the old development when she 'it. Almost dropped the ute into the supply channel, it was that slippery, bloody near loaded me strides too, I did. So we managed to get 'er all shutdown an' caught all the runoff, we 'ad two pump goin' for near two days just on ten minutes rain!

Trouble is but, she came down too 'ard, see, an' she's sealed the top 'o the beds over an' the cotton's 'avin' trouble pushin' through it, see. She's all shot, but she's all dyin' alone in the dark, like when Willow bought Buffy back from 'eaven.

What? Yeah, I wouldn't mind a turn, either, Willow too, if I had a few beers in me. Anyhow, looks like we might 'ave to replant a few paddocks in the old development, course, I'll have to run the show again, 'coz I'm the only decent operator out there,...don't pull faces like that at me. Whaddya mean shut the fuck up? Eh?... whereyagoin'? Eh, comeback....

Arsehole.

'Owyergoin' mate 'orright? Where ya bin? 'Aven't seen you 'ere in a while, nevermind, you can tell me later, it's your shou....