No Wonder I Don't Feel Well

Whilst researching today in that bastion of all things intellectual, the old newspaper I was putting the vegie scraps in (in this case, the Toowoomba Chronicle of March 13) I came across an article that may go a long way towards explaining why I have been out-of-sorts lately.

Apparently, sex is good for you. Well, duh! Although I suppose it depends on what sort of souvenirs you take home with you afterwards. Before sex, your body produces Oxytocin, a hormone that promotes emotional bonding. It is also produced by nursing mothers. During sex, your body produces Endorphins, which reduce the sensation of pain, leading to the well-known "natural high" experienced by athletes and spandex coated gym-freaks. After sex, your body produces seratonin, which I thought was a skin pigment, but apparently it produces a feeling of "satiety".

You will notice that I have referred exclusively to your body throughout this article. That's because I'm in a drought that's been going so long that in two months' time, I get my virginity back.