Telly

You know, people have a lot of misconceptions about life in the bush. It's not as rough as you think; we've even got the ellecktic elecktric power on now. Of course you knew that, otherwise how would my talking typewriter work?
But, as well as the talking typewriter, I also have my very own moving picture box. I must confess that I am not much of a fan of the Great Square Eye - for me it tends to be a bit of a talking fishbowl. Whatever is on is going to bore me eventually. I can't think of the last time I watched an entire program from one end to the other and even though I'm a big fan of the cinemahh, dahhling, I can't remember the last time I even attempted to watch a movie on the box - despite having eight movie channels (ten, if you count the time shift ones). I have probably seen five minutes of pretty much every show that's ever been on, though, so now I'm going to give you a bit of a review of some of the things that I have seen.
Firstly, good news for fans of loud music and hair product - Motley Crue aren't dead after all. There was a doco on about their reunion tour (which was probably a ripoff of that doco about those other no talent noise merchants, Metallica. I haven't seen it, so I dunno.). Guess what? Tommy Lee probably doesn't send Vince Neill Christmas cards. 'Cause he doesn't like him all that much. Pretty controversial, huh?
Also involving too much hair product was one of those shows which pose as doco's but which are really an excuse to show tits and bums (who needs an excuse?)(on the subject of tits and bums, why is American television allowed to show dead bodies but has to obscure tits and bums?)(Did you know that the Comedy Channel once censored Patrice O'Neill by bleeping the word 'Buick' out of the phrase "Nigger in a Buick" when he was doing a bit about the Washington sniper?)(Parentheses are your friends). The show was called 'Retrosexual: '80s Hotties'. I have several observations to make about this. First, the eighties - from the neck up - was the least attractive decade in the history of decades. It did, however, mark the time that fit bodies became necessary to be a major league hottie. By the standards of the eighties and, to a lesser extent today, most pre-eighties spunkrats were pretty flabby. But hey, so am I.The needle on the skank-o-meter didn't have to move all that far in the eighties, though. Having a good body was considered sufficient, they didn't have to wipe it all over the camera.I think the laydeez were probably better served in the eighties than they are these days; I didn't realise that the world held so many six-packs. They also showed a clip of Raquel Welch on stage in a mini skirt, she would have been in her fifties and still sexy as all get out. It looked like it was all her, too.
As opposed to Mariah Carey, who I saw on an ad for a talk show. She's gone the way of Janet Jackson, which is to say that she has gone from being a very good looking, fresh faced (and large breasted - mustn't forget the breasts) young woman to having anime style cheek bones and that rabbit-in-the -headlights look that comes from shopping at Bucket 'O Botox. If she had of stuck 'em any further in the camera she would have needed spinal surgery.In other news, the surgery on my motorcycle is complete, now all I have to do is find the time to go and pick it up.