You know, there are pros and cons to living out here... One of the pros is that, if you have a civilised boss, you don't have to go to work when it's wet - sometimes. We had 84 points last night, so I don't have to start until 10 a.m. and then it's over to the boss' place to have the BMP and quality assurance manuals for the feedlot explained to me.
84 points ought to be enough to ensure the wheat and barley come to something, too.
One of the cons is that the standard of single women can be variable. In fact one of them at my local pub is best described as a fat pig. At least 90kg's and probably 100, wanders around naked and has been known to go around waking blokes up in the middle of the night. And only nine years old! No wonder urban people make jokes about us.
One circumstance that can be either a pro- or a con- depending on your tastes is that we have very little exposure to the more commercial variety of popular culture. Until recently, the only way that I could keep up with such things was via the Satanic Verses of Australian popular culture. Now however, thanks(?) to the glory that is 2WEB, I have been exposed to many of the fine artistes that have been thrust into the public gaze via the grueling selection processes involved in talent shows such as Australian Idol and Popstars Live. So far there has been only three that have graced the airways whilst I have been listening, Shannon Noll, Cosima De Vito and Paulini . Thank God. Or Satan. Or The Sacred Chook. Whatever. I will deal with them in order;
First young Shannon. Apart from a predilection for black t-shirts and bad hair, our Shannon would not seem to have much in common with Jon Bon Jovi. Don't tell him that, though. His single, Learning To Ride, hee, reference to recent misfortune there, sounds like it got rejected for filler material for a Bon Jovi - B -Sides and Hidden Tracks album. Only the guitarist is even worse than Richie Sambora. Still, it isn't too painful.
Next, the woman with the forehead, Cosima. I grew up in a farming area of Victoria that had a very large and proud Italian section of the community. I imagine most of them are right now in the process of changing their names from Gervasi and Carpenteri to Johnson and Carpenter. This woman has inflicted a truly abysmal noise on the world, without even having the Xtina style redeeming feature of having toned bits and pieces and prominently displaying them to the world. This song was one of the low points of a band that didn't really hit the heights musically to start with, but this bitch has mutilated it, even going to the extent of having some tool who can't play the guitar provide some generic - squeaky fucking acoustic back -up.
Last - and least- Paulini. Her single - Angel Eyes, should be retitled Pack - raped by Hell's Angels because that is what it sounds like is happening to her. To say it is awful is to do severe injustice to awfulness; it is far, far worse than that. I have not had to suffer through seeing this evil noise performed on TV, but I can imagine it. She would be wearing one of those billowy halter tops designed to encourage pubescent boys that one of her breasts is going to escape any second now (they never do) and a pair of those pants that look like they're held up by a clit ring. Said pants would be pulled so far up her that when she opens wide to hit the high* notes you would be able to read the dry-cleaning instructions. The performance is given emotion by pulling a face equivalent to that accompanying a fisting by a boilermaker who still has his welding gloves on. High* notes are indicated by an increase in intensity of facial expression, like the boilermaker has plugged the welder in and connected the earth clamp to one nipple and is trying to strike an arc on the other. The attendant involuntary mouth movements have an effect similar to watching a dubbed Japanese sci - fi movie. The knuckles on the hand holding the microphone are white, while the other hand is outstretched and pulled back in a rictus that supports the welder theory.
Or its very tasteful.
I doubt it, though.
*"High" is a relative term, you would need to use some fairly advanced measuring equipment to detect any actual change in tone.
So Friday means pub night around here, apparently, which means that Saturday morningI didn't really feel like doing all that much. I did go to St. George and ordered a couple of toolboxes and bought food (eating is addictive). When I got back and unloaded all that stuff I thought I've never been to Cunnamulla. So I put a fresh set of undies in a tank-bag and fired up the bike.
I didn't realise that the road from Dirran to Bollon was like this for about forty or fifty k's. It was getting late in the afternoon, too, so the sun was in my eyes (The photo was taken on the way home again.). Of course, before you get to that bit, you cross the mighty Culgoa River . By the time I got to Bollon and chased down some petrol (which involved going to three separate businesses, including following the advice on a sign which read "If you want fuel, go see Blondie at the café.") it was nearly sundown, not the time to be riding another 175k's in the land of the furry grasshopper and the bush-chook. Nevermind, it still only took about an hour and a half.
Not a whole hell of a lot to write about Cunnamulla itself. I stayed at a pub, got drunk, had a brief but meaningful relationship with a person who had interconnecting parts and came home again. I only wanted to go there after seeing the doco about it on telly last year.
For those of you who saw the doco in question - the town taxi has gone from being a 1974 Holden to a 1989ish Falcon and - for any Catholic priests that may be reading - no, I didn't see either of the two girls who are suing the producer.
Actually, I thought the town and the people in it got a pretty rough deal from that doco. It isn't that it misrepresented anything, more so that it was sensationally edited. Nothing happened in the show that doesn't happen in most outback towns (and suburbs - except the way the stray dogs are destroyed).
Anyway, in the morning I went and had a look at the town water supply . This weir causes the river to back up about 10 k's back through town.Downstream, the river looks like this, whereas upstream, it looks like this all the way back through town.
It only took me an hour to get back to Bollon from Cunnamulla (175k's) not a very exciting road. And then the motocross track to Dirranbandi.
Here is some evidence that I do look after my baby.
First of all, did that T.J. Hickey kid have a real name? It was kind of sad the way that everybody lined up on their respective sides without waiting to hear the evidence. On one side you had the "Aboriginal kid in Redfern - he was running from the cops 'cos he done sumpin' wrong" brigade. On the other side you had the players in the local Aboriginal industry trying to make mileage out of an innocent families' tragedy.
Next, Guantanamo Bay. Either Jonas has changed his email address or, like the majority of Gold Coast residents, he wouldn't know if a dog was up him unless it started barking because he hasn't replied to my email informing him of my lack of access to his comments. Bloody men, they never call when they say they're going to.
Anyway, young Jonas had a bit of a say about G - Bay. In it he said that the Oz gubment should be doing more (i.e., something) to protect the rights of its citizens locked up there. However he also said that it shouldn't matter if they were locked up in G - Bay or some South - East Asian hellhole for drug - smuggling.
Wrong.
People in South East Asian hellholes committed (or are alleged to have committed) crimes as defined by recognised penal codes. Get caught, get fucked as far as I'm concerned. The people in G - Bay, however, have been held under no recognised law, not even in the country of their captors. I'm no lawyer, but I wouldn't mind a dollar on that being because it would be an illegal detention on the mainland. The whole exercise makes a farce of the whole "Fighting to protect freedom and Democracy" shtick.
Thirdly, what would Boganologists make of a play-list that included Barnesy, Bon Jovi, and Ram-Jam? That's right - 2WEB, the only radio station I can get. It's even got Lawsy on in the mornings. Still, at least Dale was on this morning.
By the way, how did it come to pass that some bitch doing a (really bad) cover of "When The War Is Over" got to be number one? It was only mediocre the first time around, now it's got squeaky acoustic accompaniment it's unbearable.
Finally, did you see that the Mother of my (future) children scored herself a silver medal in the 'lympics last night?
He's the bloke with the line about 'the best laid plans of mice and men. You may recall, gentle Reader, that yesterday morning I was going for a ride. Did it happen?
Nuh-uh.
There is a strong possibility of rain this Tuesday so we have been going 24 hours a day, finishing off the land prep before planting. If I hadda just got on the bike and rode instead of telling you that I was going to get on the bike and ride, I would've made it. It's all your fault. Feel bad, do ya?
Didn't think so. Nevermind, now I know how to operate another kind of GPS guidance system.
Yesterday was Friday the thirteenth and you could tell. Firstly, I had to start work early because some bloke was bringing out feed supplement for the cattle we are backgrounding and I had to put a bit of a road in around a couple of dams so that he could get his truck in. Score one staked tyre. Then, on the day I had to feed out twelve tonnes of finishing mix, four tonnes of starter mix and two tonnes of hay, the wind was blowing a gale. Then there was another staked tyre on the ute and to cap it off, at the end of the day I found a snake - bit cow. Bit early for snakes, could be a busy year.
It got better, though, pub again last night. I don't feel good at the moment. Having many beers seemed like a good idea at the time. It was fairly busy, too, with about twenty people stuck out on the verandah. Got a bit embarrassing when the boss' Dad kept telling everybody how good the cattle yards I made are. Especially as I only spent three days finishing them off.
They're civilised people here,but, they gave me the weekend off so I'm going to go for a bit of a ride. If you're lucky I may even take some piccies so that my hordes of adoring fans can see what the area looks like. Don't know where I'm going but a ride is a ride.
I didn't think so. Well the big move is complete and I've been working my arse off. For somebody who's supposed to be a foreman of a cotton property I seem to be spending quite some time building cattle yards. Dawn to dusk, flat out like a $2.00 whore at a truck drivers' convention.
Sorry about that, I had an attack of the ockers. So anyway, I've been working really hard, I've set myself on fire (sort of) with the welder a few times, I've got burns all over the joint from welding and grinding and I'm loving it. The people here work you 'til you drop, but they work even harder.
Went to the local pub last night with the bloke they put on to look after the feedlot. Haven't been to that pub since the eighties and it hasn't changed a bit. Which is A Good Thing. One thing that is becoming increasingly hard to find in the cities of Australia is a decent pub. I don't like pubs that try to be nightclubs, or have delusions of grandeur when it comes to being fashionable. As a matter of fact, I don't like anything to do with fashions or trends. I don't understand how people can get caught up in it. I do like pubs that only want to be pubs - a place to go and relax, have a few (domestic) beers and swap lies with a few people. In the bush, as well as most medium sized towns, the pub has retained its traditional role, which is just one of the many reasons why I live the way that I do.
So anyway, the local pub is A) convenient (only twenty k's away and the town is too small for a copper, B) old - at a guess I'd say 100 years old, but mostly C) friendly, as has been everybody I've met in the last week.
In the morning I'm going to go and have a session in the feedlot, so that I can operate it in an emergency. Should be interesting, I've never done much stockwork.
Brief, disjointed and barely coherent - I'm beginning to blog the same way that I have sex.
I don't even know what that title means, but it sounds right. I heard some stand-up comedian say it on telly the other day.
You know what I hate? The Brisbane Broncos. Not because of their legion of arrogant, boorish barrackers. Not because those barrackers all turn up missing when the Broncos lose, surfacing only to mutter darkly about 'southern conspiracies'. Not even because their sainted coach, Wayne Bennett, didn't publicly support Superleague until they took the Origin job off him; despite being the driving force in the club behind the signing of most of the players.
Nope, none of that, although they're all good reasons. The thing that really annoys me about the Broncos is the name. Hey fellas, this is Australia, we don't have Broncos here. We have Brumbies, we have Buckjumpers, we even have scrubbers (not Pommy slapper ones either, although I s'pose you could find a few if you looked for them) but we don't - or shouldn't - have Broncos.
Same as those blokes from Townsville - Cowboys? - hello? In Australia, fellas, a cowboy is some old busted arse stockman who isn't able to do the hard stuff any more and so is given an honourable retirement milking the house cow(s) and maybe doing a bit of gardening. Or at least he was, until everybody started rehearsing for when there is a single world culture and decided that we don't have 'stockmen', 'ringers', etc., but have 'cowboys' instead.
What makes it even worse is the fact that I like the Cowboys. The team, not the name. I met a few of the original players when I was staying in Townsville in the nineties, all their supporters* had a great attitude and the atmosphere at Stockland stadium was addictive. Everything the Broncos aren't.
What brought this rant on is the fact that one of the new blokes who started at my soon to be ex-workplace wears a Gill Bros. Rodeo hat. I met Brian Gill a few times in the eighties in Alice Springs. A real old time Aussie, Brian refused to call his traveling show a rodeo. It was a Buckjumping Show, same as it was when he started on the road with his parents in the twenties. I'm guessing Brian must be dead now, hence the hat.
Brian had lost one of his legs in a work accident many years before I met him (I don't know if he checked down the back of the couch, that's where everything goes when I lose it) and he had a fairly fancy plastic and steel set-up from his knee down. In the Territory dust gets everywhere. When dust enters a joint, the joint squeaks. Every time Brian shifted his weight it sounded like a mouse with a microphone. I was talking to Brian once, but couldn't concentrate because of the squeaking. In the end I told him to "Hold that thought", went and got a can of CRC, pulled his trouser leg up and soaked his knee. Didn't make any difference, though.
*supporters are still visible when the team is losing, not so with Barrackers.
Like I said Thursday, I'll believe it when I see it:
Historic trade deal gets cool reception
By Mike
SeccombeAugust 2, 2004
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to a friend A
breakthrough in world trade talks has set the scene for the removal of hundreds
of billions of dollars of trade-limiting subsidies, but Australian farmers fear
it will do little to improve their access to protected markets.
After five
days of negotiation, the World Trade Organisation's 147 member states formally
agreed to a deal that could spur trade and help lift more than half a billion
people out of poverty, according to the World Bank.
Developed countries spend
about $A515 billion a year to prop up their farmers through domestic subsidies,
export subsidies and other forms of protection. The potential benefits to
Australia in the WTO move dwarf those of the controversial US-Australia free
trade deal, which will dominate Parliament this week - and which Labor is
expected to decide to support tomorrow.
Sounds pretty good, huh? Read on...
However, Australian farmers and the Opposition remain
concerned about a "let-out" clause in the WTO agreement, which would allow
countries to nominate "sensitive" sectors which they could continue to protect
through tariffs. Japan could still declare rice as sensitive, and the US could
do the same with sugar, said the Opposition trade spokesman, Stephen
Conroy.
The president of the National Farmers' Federation, Peter Corish,
pronounced the group "extremely disappointed" and he feared countries could
still "shield themselves from offering real and meaningful access".
But wait, there's more:
[...],
Senator Conroy said the agreement was deficient because
"there's no definition as to when the export subsidies will be phased out.
There's no date. There's no rounded definition on how we will reduce tariffs,
and then they have the let-out clause which Australia in particular will be
damaged by."
Pointy heads have differing opinions on the subject:
Economist Andy Stoekel, a supporter of the trade deal
with the US, said the removal of export subsidies was "only one-tenth of the
problem" and "the real issue is what are they doing about removing barriers at
the border, removing tariffs or expanding quotas, giving access for products
into another country's markets."
However, Professor Peter Drysdale, of the
Asia Pacific School of Economics and Government at the Australian National
University, said:
"It's certainly far more significant than these trivial,
potentially-dangerous, adverse precedent-setting FTAs [such as that between
Australia and the US] of the past few years."
ANU economist Professor Ross
Garnaut agreed: "The dollars from this for Australian agriculture make any
possible FTA gains look tiny."
I can't make my mind up on the FTA, I was kinda thinking we were going to gain more than we lose, but the way it passed through congress made me suspicious. Every American person I've ever met, even those I didn't like, has been generous to a fault. This is a fault which hasn't been inflicted on the congress. It seems the ALP is in the same boat:
It is widely expected Labor will agree to the FTA deal. A special caucus meeting has been called for tomorrow, at which Labor's position will be finalised, and should be announced before Parliament convenes at
2pm.
The US trade agreement has split Labor. Most premiers and about half the
federal front bench support it, while large parts of the union movement, the
other half of the front bench and the party's left wing oppose it.
It will pass, no doubt about that, but it's good to see that Johnny's getting the vapours about something for a change. Carrying on about "This is the future of the nation we're talking about" only strengthens Marky-Marks position; surely something so vital should be researched thoroughly before you make a decision on it.
